Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be on stage. I was never an extreme extrovert that wanted to be the center of attention. In fact, I was always relatively shy. I still am, for the most part. I only know that there was a feeling in my heart, a “tugging” that I could not explain. I needed to be in front of an audience.
When I was about six years old, I remember making my father and a friend laugh until they had tears in their eyes. I don’t remember what I was doing, but I will never forget the amazing warmth in my chest as I watched them fall over themselves. I just knew that laughter had to be my life.
For a good part of my youth, I was going for my dream. I put a lot of effort into pursuing opportunities to make audiences laugh. I performed in plays, musicals, and improvisational comedy shows. At the risk of sounding like a fruitcake, I would say I was truly doing what I thought God had called me to do.
And then time passed and life changed. Some good changes. Some not so good. Some really bad. And for a very long time now my dream has been buried. Little voices in my head whisper of the futility of my dreams. Dark thoughts suggest that perhaps it was never a calling after all. Surely, I was kidding myself. There are more important things.
Lately, the “tugging” has returned and is stronger than ever. I so deeply long to dream again. I still perform when I can in the ways that I can, but… it’s not enough. I miss my dream. I want it back. I want to feel like I am answering the call again.
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I too have that tugging, every once in a while I venture out to persue that dream, leaving it closed up is styfulling your self and yes there are times when you feel the call and maybe a little scared to do anything about it…these things are expected…but if you out there with the idea that your going out there to have fun, not to worry weather they are going to like you or not then you will be liked. I also think about that at times, good luck